Who Am I?

   Autumn is traditionally a rather dry time here in the Rocky Mountains, at least in this western Colorado region.   As we walk along on our autumn wander the air is crisp and clean with just a hint of dust that will soon be settled by late fall rains and winter weather.  But today the sky is startlingly blue, the trees are dressed in fiery finery and all seems well.

   Talk turns to many things when one walks along with friends.  Some things are everyday while others are a little deeper.  The thought occurs to me, "who are we?" and "How does the world know who we are?"

   Way back in my broadcast days it was very simple to know who I was because people, friends, family, even folks I did not know, defined me as the guy on the radio.  That was easy enough and I adopted that identity.  Later when I became pastor, I was identified as "pastor."  That too was easy because that's how I was seen, as the guy on the radio and later the pastor, and that's how I saw myself.   It wasn't until recently, in fact, in the last year and a half, that I have come to understand that those things had little to do with who I was or am.  Too often we become what we do and those things are totally different.  We are who and what we are created to be, reflections of the presence of the Holy.  It has nothing to do with what we do as a vocation. 

   I became aware of this one day when I was thinking about the fact that I am now a retired person, a bona fide AARP member, a member of the class known, unfortunately, as "senior citizens."  I was thinking about advancing age and those dreadful things that we all think about at times and I realized that I was doing it again.  I was the guy on the radio, the pastor, and now I am "the old guy!"

   Smell the fragrance of the leaves mulching into the forest floor.  Feel the coolness of the breeze as it caresses our thoughts, momentarily causing us to lose track of our questioning.  But then the thought returns and I am appalled that I think of myself as "the old guy."   That implies that I have nothing left, that it's done, there are no more adventures for me. That isn't who I want to be.

    I once asked my friend and teacher, Bert Scott  if he ever thought about dying and his answer redirected my thinking, but then I forgot.  I have been reminded recently of his answer.  "I guess," he said, "I think more about living than  dying."  I don't spend a lot of time thinking about dying, but occasionally the thought crosses my mind, "what if I run our of time."

   I guess when that time comes I will just run out of time and get on with whatever comes next.  

   We must not be identified by what we do, but rather how we reflect the love and compassion and all those things that make the universe run!   That's who we are!  We are all created things in reflection because that's how God made us!

   Peace and Love to all!

   Namaste!