Things Change

 It's been quite awhile since I sat here and tapped out something that I thought was important.

Here it is . . . 

Christmas has come and gone and the new year is underway.

Wonder what can be  expected.

In many ways I hope 2011 is better,

but part of me says that 2010 was a wonderful year.

My attitude can and does make the difference, huh?

So I vow today to adjust my attitude and greet each day like Scrooge greeted the first Christmas day after his adventure.

"Ah, yes," Scrooge said.

"Wonderful day."

Below is found something I started a long time ago, back in October I think. The "Endless Autumn Wander" had, by necessity moved indoors

Let's see if it still makes sense!

*****

   Well, the weather in many ways dictates how much wandering we are able to do and how far afield we are able to go.  The weather down below is quite nice, but there has been snow up above and very cold temperatures, so our pattern, of necessity, must change.

   I have always heard that change is inevitable.  In fact, change is about the only thing that can be assured. And that is certainly true in my life of late.  Almost a year and a half ago I took retired status in the United Methodist Church.  It has been a rocky road at times, scary, frustrating, maddening.  There have been many internal   conversations like, "What was I thinking, or "What were you thinking?"  My plan was to come back to western Colorado, an area that I love just about as much as anything of which I can think.  I would come and find a job to help out with retirement and social security and much to my amazement no one was waiting for me to arrive.  I did, and am still doing. hospice volunteer work, but at present I am about "volunteered out," as some might say.  Volunteering is very noble, but it doesn't go very far at supplementing financial prowess.  Everywhere I turned doors closed and everyone said, "When a door closes another opens," which I suppose is true, but I had my doubts because all I ever saw were closed doors.  I looked for something in ministry, but it didn't work out in any way.  I must admit to a certain degree of frustration, even deep and resentful anger at what, quite frankly, was a desperate situation.

   Then one Sunday night about a month ago Linda said, "I see the Sentinal is looking for carriers again!  Mental note: check that out first thing in the morning.   The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel  needed carriers and   I called to offer my services.  About 45 minutes later  I was employed as a home delivery carrier for said Daily Sentinel and was to come on board at 3 a.m. the next morning.  The rest, as they say, is history and I have come completely full circle because the first job I ever had at age 14 was as a home delivery carrier for the Texarkana Gazette.

   Every morning I thank God for allowing me to get up at 2 a.m. and go out in the dark (And right now, cold) and do something that I have come to enjoy and to get paid a little bit for it.  It is about as far from ministry as you can get.  Or . . . maybe not.  Maybe it make someone's day a little nicer to go  out and pick  up the paper in which there is news of all sorts and other items of interest and entertainment.  There are days when I would rather stay in bed where it's warm.  But God and I get up and go out into the city.  God bags the papers, or bands, depending on the weather.  I toss them and God keeps them from sliding under cars and the like.  All the while carrying on this conversation about what God has in mind for me and when am I going to find out and get started, to which God simply smiles and stuffs another paper in the plastic bag.

   I am convinced that part of the adventure is riding along with God, following those little nudges, feeling God's mirth at my impatience and knowing  in the very depths of my soul that God is near and that Spirit is at work in me.  Do I know or understand what God has in mind?  Absolutely not.  But God does!  And I guess as long as God does it doesn't matter whether I do or not, right?

*****

There!

The paper routes (Two of them) are still getting me up early so I can go out and see the full moon,

or the little fingernail of a moon as it rises over Grand Mesa.

I see "shooting stars" 

and I see each morning the flaming Morning Star as it appears in the eastern sky.  

Every now and again I look out into the endless space

and give thanks to God that I am a spec in the scheme of things.

And the things I perceive as problems are really even smaller.

I also express my gratitude to God for being down here riding with me and not out there in space, detached from us, God's children.

That would include you and me and all other creatures throughout creation.

Holy One!

Grant us peace this new year.  Come and ride with us and help us live for others!

Who Am I?

   Autumn is traditionally a rather dry time here in the Rocky Mountains, at least in this western Colorado region.   As we walk along on our autumn wander the air is crisp and clean with just a hint of dust that will soon be settled by late fall rains and winter weather.  But today the sky is startlingly blue, the trees are dressed in fiery finery and all seems well.

   Talk turns to many things when one walks along with friends.  Some things are everyday while others are a little deeper.  The thought occurs to me, "who are we?" and "How does the world know who we are?"

   Way back in my broadcast days it was very simple to know who I was because people, friends, family, even folks I did not know, defined me as the guy on the radio.  That was easy enough and I adopted that identity.  Later when I became pastor, I was identified as "pastor."  That too was easy because that's how I was seen, as the guy on the radio and later the pastor, and that's how I saw myself.   It wasn't until recently, in fact, in the last year and a half, that I have come to understand that those things had little to do with who I was or am.  Too often we become what we do and those things are totally different.  We are who and what we are created to be, reflections of the presence of the Holy.  It has nothing to do with what we do as a vocation. 

   I became aware of this one day when I was thinking about the fact that I am now a retired person, a bona fide AARP member, a member of the class known, unfortunately, as "senior citizens."  I was thinking about advancing age and those dreadful things that we all think about at times and I realized that I was doing it again.  I was the guy on the radio, the pastor, and now I am "the old guy!"

   Smell the fragrance of the leaves mulching into the forest floor.  Feel the coolness of the breeze as it caresses our thoughts, momentarily causing us to lose track of our questioning.  But then the thought returns and I am appalled that I think of myself as "the old guy."   That implies that I have nothing left, that it's done, there are no more adventures for me. That isn't who I want to be.

    I once asked my friend and teacher, Bert Scott  if he ever thought about dying and his answer redirected my thinking, but then I forgot.  I have been reminded recently of his answer.  "I guess," he said, "I think more about living than  dying."  I don't spend a lot of time thinking about dying, but occasionally the thought crosses my mind, "what if I run our of time."

   I guess when that time comes I will just run out of time and get on with whatever comes next.  

   We must not be identified by what we do, but rather how we reflect the love and compassion and all those things that make the universe run!   That's who we are!  We are all created things in reflection because that's how God made us!

   Peace and Love to all!

   Namaste!

Habits

   The intense sun shines down as we trek across an open meadow.  The sun causes the autumn leaves to shimmer in the breeze, punctuated by the cool darkness of the evergreens mingling with the gold.  The whole scene unfolds before us and it causes the heart to skip a beat as we take in the amazing spectacle that the Holy has put before us.  The fragrance of the leaves and drying grasses fills our souls with joy to be alive and experiencing the soul of God!

   Thoughts arise  as we chat about various things, some earthly things, some eternal things.  How do we form habits?  Why are some of our habits good, while many are less than admirable?  Does it matter in the whole scheme of things?   

   I have in the last few months, been very interested in my own habits and am not particularly proud to  say that I have harbored some rather bad habits that have had a very definite adverse influence on my life and those habits were built over my entire life.

   Back in January I became involved with a group called Weight Watchers.  I wish I could say that I didn't really need to be in the group, but . . . alas . . .  I joined because the leader of the group was a friend, but I really did not think that anything much would change.  But I was wrong because I learned to my astonishment almost immediately that my eating habits were terrible.  There was little discipline in the matter.  I went home and began working the program and the results were amazing.  Almost nine months and 71 pounds later I have changed many things and not just food things, but life things.  My lifestyle is different because I think about things to do with eating, and I don't mean I sit and dream about eating, but I carefully consider what is good.  I have learned it takes work.  I have never minded working hard, if I know what to do and I didn't.  But since I learned I realize it has taken a lot of work and the changes are lifelong changes.

   My problem was bad habits and they were learned in childhood!

   Just recently we enrolled in a class called Financial Free University.  Finances has always been an issue with me.  I never learned what to do with finances.  It was like a foreign language to me and I just pushed it all aside, leaving it to someone else and there is no telling how much money I could have saved if I had not been so frightened and completely illiterate in things of financial stewardship. Anyone could have told me anything and I would have said, "Fine, whatever you say!"  I knew what I was going to find out last week when we went to the first session.  You got it!  I learned immediately that I had been living with extremely bad habits in things of finance and money and to make things different I was going to have to abandon those bad habits and make further changes in myself, changing habits that had been formed in childhood.  Am I blaming anyone?  Of course not!  Am I too old to form new habits.  As long as I am breathing and have a heartbeat, of course not!

   How many areas of our lives could be more meaningful and productive if we changed our habits, our lifestyle.  God has put within each of us God's Spirit!  The heart that beats within us is attuned to the heart of God because it is a piece of the heart of God.  We are made in God's image.  God desires that we should be all that we have potential to be.  It is God's pleasure to give us the keys to the kingdom.     I have learned that accepting this gift begins by discipline and making changes!

Gifts

   The beautiful weather is smiling on us under that blue sky with the autumn colors all around as we mosey down our trail taking in all that surrounds us and feeling a sense of well-being just living in the presence of the Holy!  What an incredible day!  What an incredible life.

   As we walk along thinking on these things I begin to ponder the joyous gift that this day is.  In fact, every day is a gift filled with wonder and so many folks go to bed every night thinking about having to endure another day tomorrow and hoping and praying that it is better than today.

   Often my children or someone close will ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas or some other occasion.  They all chuckle as I reply, like I always do, "all I want is peace on earth!"   But my answer is not so fanciful, not so far from reality.  What I really want is peace of mind and heart.  "On earth" might be a stretch.  But when we stop to consider the countless gifts that we receive daily we come to understand that peace lies in a very special place and it is with us everyday.  Peace really, really does begin with me and we discover it when we practice gratitude for the many gifts that are ours everyday!  Not just holidays or special days.  Even when we experience and endure hard times, scary times, times when survival is a question!  Sometimes we will encounter people who challenge us.  As we encounter life we are experiencing a great gift because in those challenging times we can learn and re-learn to put our trust and our faith in something besides our "stuff."  We learn that our "stuff" is temporary.  Eternity is found in our faith in the Holy, the one we call God. God touches our hearts through the common soul that we share with God and gives us the whole spectrum of creation!  All of it is at our disposal.  In it are gifts of wonder and mystery, sometimes even "magic."  The gifts flow to us, good times, bad times, the people whose paths cross our own.  From the Divine comes unlimited gifts of life.  Some things may not seem like gifts, but they are because they focus our attention on the Creative Force of all.
   Namaste!  

   

A Wonderful Balance!

The favorite things of fall for me are the smells, the fragrances of earth and leaves, of the soil as it is enriched on the forest floor by fallen trees or leaves decomposing.  As we wander the aroma is heady as Planet Earth creates with the hand of The Ultimate Creator.

   As we pause on this log to catch our breath I begin to think about nature and the fact that we live in a  precisely balanced environment.  The blue sky is blue because of the light refracted by a layer of atmosphere composed of various gases being held in place by gravity, which is created as the earth rotates on its axis.  Left alone the layer of atmosphere  is precisely the right thickness and consistency to protect the earth from almost all things from outer space that are hurtling toward us many times a day.  Interesting how that works out!  
   As we look up into the branches of the trees, we see the leaves swaying and quaking in the breeze.  Trees and plants are living things and they breathe.  They breathe carbon dioxide, which is the by products of our own breathing.  It's interesting how that works out.  We breathe out exactly what the trees and plants need.  But guess what . . . when the trees take in the carbon dioxide they breathe out oxygen.  Exactly what human and animal life needs.  See, people and trees are dependent upon one another.  The natural world is filled with inter-dependencies and it all works like clockwork in a wonderful balance.

   The point is that all this comes together in a way that cannot be thought of as random or accidental.  A Source of positive creative energy that is so far beyond our capacity to grasp exists and it is the creative power behind everything that exists.  That same Source of positive creative energy, what we call God,  put us right in the midst of everything, not just to control it, but to be a part of it.  No matter how hard we human beings try we cannot separate ourselves from God and/or God's creation.  We are created in the image of that Creative Source.  We are, as Wayne Dyer says, "little pieces of God, Divine beings, highly individualistic expressions of God!"
   Isn't it interesting how that works out?
   Namaste!

Namaste

   Something back in the trees runs away as we go back to the road.  Probably a deer spooked by our passage.  Our conversation becomes animated as  we feel deep in  our hearts  a sense of well-being at being in this place and this now moment, which, ultimately means we are in the heart of God.

   The breeze continues to whisper through the leave above us, adding a mysterious dimension to this now moment!  If you listen closely you can almost pick out a melody.

   Last time I used a word I have never used before.  It just sprang forth as I contemplated the beauty of our surroundings and came in touch with the Oneness of us all.  The word is "Namaste!"

   Namaste (nahmah-stay) is a word from Sanskrit and is associated traditionally with the Hindu system of faith and belief.  Because of it's meaning it finds its way into the lives of many as a greeting, a salutation.  Several meanings have been put forth by people from all faiths and belief systems, but they are all essentially the same as they seek to honor others by acknowledging the presence of the Creative Source of All Things in that person,

   Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the beauty that is everywhere around us and feelings leap up and out and that's where the beautiful word came from.  It says so much to me and speaks so eloquently for me.

   When I use that word what I am saying is, "My love,joy and peace that pours forth from the depths of my heart   honors the love, joy and peace that pours forth from your heart!"  As we feel this sense of love and joy toward each other despite our differences, and honor it, we are really, really  One

   Namaste

Is This Where God Sits . . . ?

   We continue our wander on this beautiful autumn day.  

   We notice a narrow trail that leaves the lane on which we have been walking.  Let's take the trail and see where it goes.  We swing into the  forest among the towering firs and spruce with aspen dotted throughout and soon come to a meadow.  Our breath catches as we look out over a grand vista with mountains in the distance to the east and to the north.  In the midst of the meadow is a small lake that reflects the trees and the startlingly blue sky.  A more beautiful day could not be imagined.  The breeze, which has stiffened is cold. and the water shimmers as it is riffled by the wind, which moans and sighs through the trees, rattling the quaking aspen leaves.  Silence rules.  We dare not utter a sound because it would interrupt some vast eternal mandate to keep silence in the presence of the Holy!  
   As if in response to our worship there appears birds from the trees, flitting through the breeze, dipping into the cold waters and darting away.  One is an amazing painted bunting.   He pauses on a small branch growing at the water's edge.  Soon joining him is the bright flash of the Rocky Mountain Bluebird,  while scolding them both from in the higher branches is the Stellar's Jay.  Nature is at it's best on this fragrant yellow-orange afternoon.

    As we ponder the holiness of the moment it comes to mind that we have somehow separated ourselves from the beauty of this day and the wonder that  emanates from it.  How often we fail to realize, or even believe, that we are part of this day.  It lives inside us if it lives anywhere.

   In the first chapter of Genesis in the Torah God says:  "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness . . . "  How loudly we proclaim that we believe that with our whole hearts, yet, if we really do believe it we know that we all are of the mind of God, the Holy, the Source, the Creator of all things. Not only that, but we are a part of this beautiful planet, not just living on it, but being part of the reality and spirit of it.  We are made in the image of God and the positive power, the high energy of God can and will be ours when we begin to abandon the idea that we are separate from everything else, that we are somehow above it all.  As we stand looking quietly over this glistening lake that reflects the beauty of this day we must be aware that as we swim in the soul of God and make that our own soul, we, too, reflect the very presence of that Creative Power with our lives.

   As we leave the lake we notice the little dock across the way with a single chair I can't help but chuckle a little  as I wonder,  is that where God sits and meditates on a world that sometimes seem so chaotic.  Being here in this  now moment helps us to see beneath the chaos and realize that we are a vital part  of a beautiful world!
  Namaste!